For several years I have tried to figure out motherhood. When I was pregnant with my first son, my husband was finishing his last year of college at Texas Christian University. We lived in Dallas, Texas, and drove 30 miles twice a week to Fort Worth in the evenings so he could attend classes at the University.

While Neal was in classes, I studied in the library, reading every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and babies. I was sure that by the time our baby was born, I would have all the answers I needed for years to come.

Finally, I came upon a book written by one of the world’s leading experts on motherhood, Erma Bombeck. She put it all in perspective when she said, “One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.” Thank you, Erma. Someone finally said it.

Son number two came along and soon we were at little league baseball games, enjoying sports for years. One question Erma brought up was, “Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.” Mothers are why Clorox bleach has stayed in business so long.

Then son number three arrived, and I remembered Erma’s suggestion on how many children one should have, “It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.” It sounded good to me.

So, here is my question to the mothers of the world, “Why try to figure out motherhood?” It is the most demanding, exhausting, and wonderful self-discovering journey in the world. With every sleepless night when they are babies, every sleepless night when they are teens, and every sleepless night when they leave home and you don’t know what is going on with them, you never get over being a mother. Special moments in life morph into memories you never forget. I can truly say that the greatest lessons I have learned in life have come from being a mother.

Motherhood teaches you to turn the tears into laughter, to turn the hurts into smiles, and to always know that tomorrow will be a better day.

Our nation was built through the strength of mothers helping nurture  children into fine young men and women. I am proud of all three of my sons and their sense of justice and caring for people who need a helping hand.

So mothers, wherever you are, enjoy your day. You deserve all good things that come your way.

Have a blessed day!

Thought for Today:

“Children make your life important.”—Erma Bombeck

Live life,

Janelle

Let’s Talk: What special life lesson has motherhood taught you?

It was getting on the plane that started a crazy trail of events. As I walked through security at the airport, the bells and whistles went off with TSA. I thought it might be my knit shirt with sparkly decorations or my metal jewelry, but that wasn’t it.

“You must have lotion on your hands,” said the TSA security attendant.

“Yes, I always have some hand lotion on,” I said.

Internal dialogue, What in the world are they talking about? My mother taught me never to leave town without my hand lotion.

At that moment, the roller bag I was carrying on the plane set off a warning. TSA agents started an intensive search through my bag, which included an iPhone, a camera (in case my iPhone battery is too low to take pictures), car navigator system (because Hertz doesn’t try hard enough), makeup bag (which would be disastrous if lost, heaven forbid), Laptop, iPad (to back up the Laptop) manicure set (because my nail polish won’t last four days), pills (extras in case I get stranded in a blizzard even though it is summer—you never know when you might get rerouted to the North), eyeglasses (one to wear with contacts, one to wear without contacts, and expensive sunglasses that I don’t even trust TSA to handle), magazines (three styles in case I get bored), book (should we have a get stuck at the airport for days), and manila folders stuffed with work to do on the plane (so I won’t feel guilty enjoying my magazines). Everything was properly packed in easy to examine containers, so they proceeded to zip and unzip every one of them three times.

The attendant suspiciously looked at me and started telling me what she was going to do to me in the back room, where I would be examined further. This is after I went through the body scan machine.

Then TSA called my husband over to interrogate him about me. He tried to explain that I am about as innocent a person as they could find with no criminal record—grandmother, CEO of a large non-profit organization and on our way to Los Angeles where we help provide free mammograms to women who cannot afford them. I was overhearing him describe me and was rather touched by his kind comments until I heard him say, “Does she look like a terrorist?”

Thirty minutes later, a bit rattled and proclaimed to not be a security threat to the airway system, they concluded that their machine must have been too sensitive.

Just get me on that plane, I thought. All of this ruckus. Four of us are about to miss our plane.

On the Plane, But Not Out of Town Yet

The flight was almost ready to take off, and the last call from the flight attendant to buckle up and turn off electronics had sounded. I reached for the end of the belt to find the metal insert was covered with a wad of chewed bubble gum.

What is that noise I keep hearing? I thought. It sounds like a barking dog. Oh my goodness! It is a yelping little dog in the cargo hole. It went on and on and on.

Here We Go

The flight took off, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could lean back in my seat and unwind, only the seat would not lean back. It was broken. The flight attendant walked by and noticed my struggle. She was a light-weight, tiny-framed brunette. The plane had a slight bump and she lifted off the ground and nearly fell into my husband’s lap as she leaned over to help me.

Do you think I am making this stuff up? Believe me, I couldn’t think of all these things. The reason I carry plenty of supplies is so I am prepared for everything, so I brought my own man-made relaxation. My neck pillow and spa music were a welcomed relief for the rest of the flight. Some days the rest of the world gets up on the wrong side of the bed.

When Preparation is Not Enough

The thing about life is that it never goes as smoothly as you plan. Sometimes, everything gets so ridiculous that you have to laugh. This was the wildest flight ever. By the way, on the way home from our trip, I went through security without a glitch.

Breast cancer survivor or survivor of life itself, keep moving!

Plan, plan, plan, then roll with the punches! The ups and downs, bumps and side-tracks in life are filled with interesting happenings. A blog may even come out of it. Just keep moving forward and keep your eyes on where you are going. Temper tantrums and angry outbursts will get you nowhere but more upset. (I didn’t do any of that…remember, I am the innocent one). When all is said and done, don’t become a part of the ridiculous by your behavior. That will only take your eyes off your goal and will cloud your thinking.

Now, where am I going next? Does that mean I have to fly?

Thought for Today:

“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”—Yogi Berra

Live Life (with a smile),

Janelle

Let’s Talk: Have you had a travel experience that made you want to give up flying?

What if you focus all of your attention and direction this year on searching out the best qualities of the “old you,” by remembering the highlights of your personal success? What characteristics do you possess that are extraordinary? Yes, you do have them. You may have to stop and think your way through the trail of your life for milestones of happiness. This became clear to me as I observed something fascinating related to the 2012 Golden Globes.

The Golden Globes

Two great directors were featured on the Golden Globes. Each with different styles used the same approach to casting stars for their movies.

Woody Allen won Best Screenplay for Midnight in Paris
at the Golden Globes. In an interview I heard a few weeks earlier, he talked about casting roles. His approach is to cast the most authentic actors for the roles and to leave them alone to be themselves—natural and at ease. Some actors have begged him to tell them what to do, but he fully trusts his instinct to let the right people immerse themselves into their roles and creatively emerge on their own as astounding characters. Who can argue with his success?

Steven Spielberg‘s movie, War Horse, was nominated at the Golden Globe Awards for Best Motion Picture-Drama. Spielberg chose an unknown stage actor, Jeremy Irvine for the lead role, after interviewing hundreds of young boys. Spielberg said of Irvine, “His performance was very natural, very authentic.”Spielberg says he likes to cast unknowns or those new to the business because they don’t know anything but to be themselves. Irvine had come to the audition two or three times a week for two months. To show his delight in offering this fresh face to the movie world, Spielberg had a mock script written, in which he told Irvine to read to the camera to check his accent. The piece he read was telling him that Spielberg wanted him to play the role. Authenticity brings joy to those who watch.

The Result of Authenticity

The focus of these two directors is uncanny. Each one of them has allowed his authenticity to step into worlds of imagination and creativity unique to the world.

Woody Allen, during his difficult family issues a few years ago would go to court one day and come back on set with a mindset locked into his art. He compartmentalized his mind to attend to the important things as they arose and blocked out those things that did not pertain to his immediate situation. Actors who work with him say he is a genius. He truly is an authentic personality who transfers his authenticity into the casting of actors in his movies. Where would we be without one of his favorites, Diane Keaton?

Steven Spielberg dropped out of California State University Long Beach to pursue his passion. As a young man, he directed Jaws. His reckless abandon to the normal catapulted him into a world of movie-making special effects that had never been seen before and was credited as starting the tradition of the summer blockbuster. He recognized talent such as Liam Neeson, whom he directed in Schindler’s List, and by recognizing his unparalleled acting ability, set him into a career of playing the leading man.

Will You Allow Your Old Self to Emerge?

There was a sweetness and innocence in the early years of your life. Then life happened to you. Your hopes for the future may have turned into broken dreams. Somewhere along the way you forgot how pure and clean your character and values were. Can you take yourself back to the time when you were happy and filled with wonder? As you begin the year 2012, dare to follow your passion. It will change your perspective on life and revive those latent qualities that were in the best version of yourself. What if you didn’t worry about having enough money or a better job to fulfill your dreams? What if you could move past tragedies like breast cancer or hurts of the past and lay those things aside? Perhaps the goal this year is to allow the old you to become new. You have a world of unrealized dreams waiting to explode within you if you dare to let the best of the old you emerge.

Thought for Today:

“Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul.”—Sir J. Stephen

Live Life,

Janelle

As the dedication of the 9/11 Memorial commemorates the HOPE of our nation today, we take pride in the words that are engraved on the memorial site, “No day shall erase you from the memory of time.” On the morning after tragedy, it is time to look forward. We can do nothing about the past but can do everything about the future.

In the past 10 years, many of you have faced a diversity of losses. Perhaps you have lost loved ones as I have. My own mother died on 9/11 a few years ago. Many have felt the fear of death with the diagnosis of breast cancer or have even lost someone you love to breast cancer. At a time of great loss, there are steps you can take toward hope.

Step 1:

Ten years ago, Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of NYC, took the first step toward hope and healing for New York City and our nation by being present in the aftermath of 9/11. He was everywhere assessing the damage, feeling the heartbeat of those who suffered, and standing with families who lost their loved ones. He was an example to us all as we face tragedies in our lives. We must take the first step of healing by opening ourselves up to the reality of what has happened. Though sometimes painful, there are those moments of truth when we have to take everything into account.

Step 2:

The second step occurred on 9/11 when President George W. Bush reminded our nation of who we are as he said, “Great tragedy has come to us, and we are meeting it with the best that is in our country, with courage and concern for others because this is America. This is who we are.” When he stood at the 9/11 site in the rubble of twisted steel, he spoke words of hope to those first responders, “I can hear you, the rest of the world can hear you and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon.” President Bush reminded us that we are a people of courage who would hold onto our faith and each other as we established the ground rules for going forward.

When everything within us is crying out in distress, that is the time to stand up and declare who we are. We are victors in the midst of our tragedy. We will not be victimized. We will be fearless.

Step 3:

Step three toward hope is to move forward. The people of NYC did not stop. They linked arms and moved forward. Our nation did not allow fear to overtake us. And, we cannot be overcome by any loss in our lives. Remember who you are. Hold onto those around you, even if they have to hold you up for a while. Then, step forward into your glorious future. Nothing can stop you with God’s help.

The Morning After

Yes, it is the morning after 9/11. It is a day of new beginnings and new hope. Look through the eyes of hope at your future. You will see it with new vision and clarity. It is the morning after, and we will become the nation we hope to be. It is the morning after, and we will turn our personal losses into strength. With that strength, we can move forward. God bless America, and God bless every one of you today.

Thought for Today:

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”—Karen Ravn

Live Life,

Janelle

“What is it that Johnny Depp has that makes people crazy about him?” said Charlie Rose, broadcast journalist.

Director of the movie, The Tourist, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck made a quick mental assessment and answered, “I think it is that he makes it so easy for us to love him. We appreciate him for that. Everybody likes to feel loved, and he allows us to feel that. He is almost a teacher of love that allows us to access that feeling.”

Henckel von Donnersmarck gave us an inside look at the making of The Tourist on the DVD’s Director’s Commentary. He shared how Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie gave a flawless performance and explained how acting is the purest form of art. “You can’t hide behind the camera with your body and emotions,” he said. “You create art for the consumer who is watching.”

As a director, he said he wanted to create every scene as though it was a beautiful painting. He accomplished that in one of the most perfectly directed movies I have ever seen. “Nothing is easier to create than random ugliness,” he said.

His directing opened my eyes to the vulnerability of actors and how on screen they allow you to take a peek into their souls. I thought about how a breast cancer survivor feels when she loses a part of her body so connected to her femininity. There is a raw vulnerability that is exposed, leaving that woman visible all the way to the core of her being.

Vulnerability and unguarded emotions do not have to become a display of random ugliness. As a survivor, myself, I understand the delicate emotions one feels upon being diagnosed with breast cancer. It seemed to me that every unpleasant emotion I could ever feel rolled up into a giant ball and knocked a hole right through the middle of my heart—a big, black hole. I wondered if I could escape the emotions and ever feel like a woman again.

The Rest of the Story

I founded NBCF out of my desire to help other women, first of all with financial help to provide free mammograms if they couldn’t afford them, then with the educational and emotional help to restore them to their full womanhood. As I did these things, the black hole filled up when I wasn’t even looking. Turning my eyes outward toward others instead of inward toward my own inadequacies, changed my life. I found precious jewels of emotions inside myself that were deeper and more valuable than the pain and emotional scars of breast cancer.

The first time I hugged a woman who was provided a mammogram through NBCF’s help was like holding love in my arms. She was a real person who had been rescued from despair.

Then there was the short, Italian man who spoke no English, and I spoke no Italian. He, too, had received NBCF’s help and had his life spared. He carried a malignant tumor around in his breast for a year and was directed to the hospital by a nurse navigator, who told him of our help at his hospital. We hugged with no language barrier and cried with happiness. These were the tears that bathed away my emotional scars.

When I started writing my blog, I moved from in front of the camera to behind the scenes by opening my life to the innocence of vulnerability and the beauty of allowing myself to feel the necessary emotions that propelled me toward being a fulfilled person. Please join me in sharing your experiences on BeyondTheShock.com, where you can learn about breast cancer, see videos of other women, and create your own videos and stories.

Today I live my life with hope for my future and want to share those experiences with you on my blog. Take a look at the Follow Janelle tab at the top of the page for pictures I took in Paris at the very site where Angelina Jolie sat in an opening scene of The Tourist.

Reverse your pain and embrace the newness of life.

Thought for Today:

“Stimulate the heart to love, and all other virtues will rise of their own accord.” –W. T. Ussery.

Live Life,

Janelle

Every word beyond, “You have breast cancer,” was a blur. It was 1980 when little information was given to patients about such medical conditions. While I was in the hospital having a hysterectomy, my doctor performed a biopsy on a breast lump I found myself a few weeks earlier. That’s when my breast cancer was discovered. I was given nothing to read or explanation about the treatments. I found myself in a state of shock that within two days after a hysterectomy, I would have a mastectomy.

I lay in my hospital bed recovering from both surgeries, heartsick that as a 34-year old mother of three young sons, I had faced a life-changing decision with so little information. My two doctors and the hospital where I had the surgeries were all well-respected. Yet, how could a woman ever be expected to make such a decision in a manner like this?

NBCF was not founded until 1991. During those years I determined that I would dedicate my life to helping educate women about the early detection of breast cancer. When NBCF came into existence, I vowed that we would provide women with educational information so they could make informed decisions, knowing all of their choices.

I am proud to say that the National Breast Cancer Foundation is now unveiling the fulfillment of my dream with a new project called Beyond The Shock.

What is Beyond The Shock?

Beyond The Shock is an online educational resource for those affected by breast cancer, so that they can gain a better understanding of the disease.  It is a collaborative breast cancer guide created by the National Breast Cancer Foundation with the support of the finest medical experts, doctors, and researchers in the world. We’ve utilized ground-breaking technology and the resources of the global medical community to create an accessible platform for understanding a diagnosis of breast cancer.

Beyond The Shock includes informational videos, personal stories from women who have battled breast cancer, and a community Q&A.  The videos are separated into chapters, making it easy to navigate to the topics you are seeking. Any questions that are not answered on the videos can be directed to our Q&A section, where you can communicate with a community of survivors, supporters, and medical experts.  One site is all you need to find your answers.

How Can I Help?

We need your feedback! As breast cancer survivors and supporters, we would love your input on the Q&A portion of the platform. Many of you had questions when you first found out about breast cancer, as I did. By replicating those questions and responses on Beyond The Shock, you can help others as they educate themselves on the site.  We also want to know what you think about Beyond The Shock and what we can do to make it an even better resource.

What Can I Do?

Visit BeyondTheShock.com, take a look around, and make yourself heard on the Q&A section. Also, make some notes on what you like about the site and what you think needs improvement.

Email your ideas to info@nbcf.org. Thank you for your help and support!

Live Life,

Janelle

In Breast Milk, Clues to Risk of Breast Cancer
by Jennifer Corbett Dooren
Wall Street Journal

“A woman’s breast milk holds the potential to assess her risk of developing breast cancer, according to preliminary research presented Monday.

In her research, Kathleen Arcaro, an associate professor of environmental toxicology at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, collected milk samples from both breasts of about 250 nursing women who had a previous breast biopsy or were scheduled to have a lump biopsied. In most cases the lumps were found to be benign, although cancer was found in 13 women.

Using the milk samples, Dr. Arcaro and her team of researchers isolated what are known as epithelial cells and then looked at the DNA inside them. Certain genes in some of the samples showed changes, which are known as methylation, that are thought to precede the development of cancer. A previous study conducted by Dr. Arcaro using breast milk from healthy women showed few changes in the DNA of certain genes.

The research is focusing on changes in 12 genes that other researchers have shown are involved in the development of breast cancer. Dr. Arcaro has analyzed three of the 12 genes so far.

One of the genes is called RASSF1, which is a tumor-suppressing gene. When working properly, that gene helps keep healthy cells from turning into cancer. But when substances or chemicals in the body attach themselves to the gene, or become methylated, the gene malfunctions.

Among 182 women in the study who had a lump that wasn’t cancerous, there were few changes seen in the RASSF1 gene taken from the milk of the biopsied breast compared to the nonbiopsied breast as measured by a methylation score. But among the 13 women who had cancer, there was a significant increase in average methylation score for the RASSF1 gene taken from the milk of the biopsied breast compared to the nonbiopsied breast. There was also a marginally higher score for another tumor-suppressing gene SFRP1 among the biopsied breasts compared to the nonbiopsied breasts among women in the study.

Dr. Arcaro, who presented Monday at the American Association of Cancer Research’s annual meeting, said the findings prove the concept that the cells in breast milk can be used to assess breast-cancer risk, although much more work needs to be done before a test is actually developed. The study is being funded by the Department of Defense and the Avon Foundation. Dr. Arcaro said she hopes to recruit another 250 women into the study.

About 80% of women give birth at some point in their lives so developing a cancer-risk test from milk could potentially benefit a majority of women.

Dr. Arcaro stressed that such a test wouldn’t replace conventional screening methods like a mammogram, but that it could signal which women are at the highest risk for later developing cancer and should start screening earlier. In 2009, a government task force issued a controversial recommendation suggesting most women start getting mammograms at age 50 rather than 40.”

Remember to get your regular mammograms!

Live Life,

Janelle

Mammogram: Heart Predictor? by Ann Lukits
Wall Street Journal

“A routine mammogram checking for breast cancer may predict the future development of heart disease, according to a study in Obstetrics & Gynecology. Fine, granular deposits along the circumference of breast arteries, called breast arterial calcifications, are visible on 3% to 29% of breast scans and are frequently seen in women with heart disease. The study looked at 1,454 U.S. women who received mammograms in 2004. After five years, 20.8% of the subjects who tested positive for calcifications had developed heart disease compared with 5.4% who tested negative. The risk of heart disease in women with breast calcification was 6.3% compared with 2.3% in those without calcification. Of the women with calcification, 58.3% developed stroke compared with 13.5% who were calcification-free. Adjusting for age and other risk factors didn’t affect the findings. Researchers recommended calcifications be routinely reported on breast scans. Using mammography to screen for heart disease could lead to earlier detection and intervention, they said.

Caveat: As the subjects were primarily white and non-Hispanic, the findings may not apply to women of other races or ethnicities. The severity of calcification wasn’t measured in the study.”

Remember, Early Detection is Your Best Protection!

Live Life,

Janelle

We discovered our oven wasn’t working one night when we had company over for dinner. Our pizza came out of the oven burned on the top and undercooked on the bottom. But, that was not the meltdown part. After muddling through two no-oven weeks, we decided to have a new oven delivered upon return from our vacation.

While I was cleaning out the refrigerator to prepare for our trip, news broke about an egg scare. The nation’s biggest egg seller and distributor recalled 288,000 eggs from a farm in Ohio that had produced eggs with salmonella. I tossed out two dozen eggs that I imagined could have been tainted from the “egg scare”.

When we returned home, we had no oven and no eggs. Everything I could think of to cook required eggs and an oven. It took several more days before the new oven was installed and I had fresh eggs in the house again. I was anxious to cook after watching six seasons of cooking DVDs from America’s Test Kitchen, my favorite cooking show. Sunday morning seemed like the perfect time to create a divine omelet with my new omelet pan and choice eggs from Whole Foods Market.

I was certain that my culinary skills had sky-rocketed to a new plateau from all of the instruction spinning around in my head. I put on my crisp, white apron from Paris, swung around my spatula like it was a Japanese santoku knife, and started cracking eggs for the omelet.

Oh, no. What is that spec in the egg yolk? I thought. I slam-dunked it down the garbage disposal and cracked another egg.

Another spec? Eggs, two, three, four—same thing. Every egg that was not perfect landed in the sink. I went through 10 eggs to find omelet-worthy ones. At this point I was imagining salmonella food poisoning and feeling a bit shaky in my omelet venture.

No Man’s Land

The pressure was on when Neal strolled through the kitchen and commented, “Only eggs? I wanted some pancakes, too.”

“I don’t think I can do omelets and pancakes at the same time,” I said. “Those are two different breakfasts.”

In spite of my objection, he ambled on through the kitchen, knowing I would give it a try anyway. Eggs were flying , I forgot to measure ingredients, and there were so many things going on at one time that I forgot everything I knew about cooking. The omelet overcooked, and in my frustration I blurted out, “Neal, I burned the omelet.”

He made the fatal mistake of making a man comment, “I don’t see how anyone can mess up an omelet.” Now, it wasn’t just the omelet that was burned, I was fuming, too. I am a well-seasoned cook, I thought. How could this happen to me?

Meanwhile, I lost my place with the ingredients for the pancakes, ran out of eggs, and left something out of the pancakes that must have been important. While runny pancakes oozed over the side of the griddle, I made my culinary presentation to Neal by sliding the not-so-appetizing omelet across the table and growled, “Enjoy your omelet.”

He tried to be nice about it, but made another comment that didn’t set well with me. “It sort of takes the fun out of eating,” he said.

As I spent the next hour cleaning up the kitchen, I had a piece of under-toasted bread wrapped around a slice of crisp bacon and called it a day.

What in the world just happened? I thought. Everything that went wrong in the kitchen could also be applied to the way we live our lives.

Our OLM Plan:

O-rganization-Pre-planning includes time well-spent to organize so that we can achieve our goals.

L-imitations-Do we take on too many things at one time by trying too hard to live up to someone else’s expectations?

M-easurement-Time and resources have to be measured out ahead of time. Do we have the proper tools and ingredients to prepare for the expected outcome? Just wearing the chef’s apron is not enough.

Breast Cancer Survivor’s Meltdown

Upon surviving breast cancer, some important adjustments have to be made. No one can give you the perfect plan for your life. Changes in life happen, but those changes can be turned into great victories if we put the OLM chef test to work.

When all was said and done, I had to laugh over how ridiculous my meltdown was. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and need to step back to take at big-picture look at where we are in life.

Thought for Today:

“Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven’t thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed.”—Robert Brault

Live Life,

Janelle

Let’s Talk: How did you overcome a meltdown?